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In fact, whether your relationships last or not depends on your “use value”: The greater your use value, the more others will help you.
1. You may need someone’s help but they hide or refuse you at important times
I have a friend named Tung. Actually, not really my friend, but because I played with a close friend and got to know this person.
This guy often likes to brag that he is very knowledgeable about coffee and that there is no boss in the industry that he does not know. New listeners admired him even more.
At parties, he was always singing his relationship song all over the country. He has made acquaintances and maintained relationships since starting college through social networks.
Previously, he intended to buy a house in the city, but his savings were not enough, about 100 million dong is still missing. He borrowed it on social media but no one cared. He called his ‘brothers on the internet’, and they were always busy or the other person’s phone said he was busy or gave an excuse to refuse.
Most of the people who lent him money were relatives, friends and colleagues. Even the ‘big guys’ he knew in the industry tried to politely reject him and push him out of the industry. Someone ‘humane’ asked him to contact the phone numbers of the loan banks himself.
So, the person you invite to dinner every night or the person you consider to be your brother or sister is unlikely to have spent money to lend you money to help you solve your problems. They are so close, but when needed, “everyone takes care of themselves”.
Only families and people who truly love you will help you. They don’t need you to offer meals to repay them, nor do they need you to repay them in cash. They are willing to help you because they consider you a part of their life. Appreciate those who wholeheartedly love you.
2. If you want to cooperate and develop together, pay attention to two things
First, the main principle of relationships is “exchange.”
What is a “subject for registration” in the profession? The first thing you need to know is that your account must have a lot of money, commensurate education and high income. The combination of these three can reflect whether people are on the same level as each other.
A reporter interviewed a child in kindergarten. This child has a lot of money at home and often brings a lot of toys and electronics to school. Other kids always love to find this kid as a friend to play with.
He asked the child: “You have so many friends, you must be very popular, right?” The child says no, he only has one friend, and all the other children come to him only when they need to play with toys, only they can hold their toys to “trade” with him, because So everyone thinks it’s your friend.
Therefore, the factor to maintain contact and develop relationships is the exchange of ideas, feelings, information, etc. Many people do not understand this. In the workplace, they constantly expand their contacts and engage in relationships.
Many people even boast about the phone numbers of friends they have saved, how many people they meet in a week or even just for a short time. But what happens when it happens? Are those phone numbers callable?
Time makes you slowly distance yourself from those around you, causing anxiety and guilt for you. However, for relationships without any exchange conditions, it really doesn’t matter.
Second, the link between the rich and the poor is very real:
I have a former company colleague named Vuong, who works as an office worker in a foreign company, with a monthly salary of several thousand dollars. He has a college friend named Andy, 27 years old has become the CEO of a Japanese company with an annual salary of $ 2,000,000. A few days ago, she went back to her hometown to visit her family and met Mr. Vuong.
In the past, she used to go to Mr. Vuong’s house and talk often. They met just to tell each other about many rumors online, who likes who, who secretly loves whom, who gets married to whom… However, after a month, because such topics are discussed dozens of times, When they met, both of them were embarrassed because there was no new topic.
Because they are together, they can only retell the same old stories dozens of times which makes them both boring. But gradually, due to the large salary difference, the two stopped talking to each other.
Vuong is an ordinary office worker, he often goes to work by bus, comes home to cook after work and sometimes goes to a small restaurant to eat his favorite food. In contrast, Andy often goes to luxury restaurants, bars… and her life is quite happy. She often goes to restaurants and five-star resorts.
Once Mr. Vuong invited her to drink coffee, she said: “Come to the lobby of my five-star hotel.” So, Vuong came to her, the two drank two cups of coffee, used two small cakes and a plate of fruit. As a polite man, he offered to pay. But when he paid, the amount amounted to about 3 million VND, he seemed to collapse because this money was enough for him to eat for a whole month.
The problem between the rich and the poor is far from what you imagine. Rich people think a meal of a few million is normal when it is too much money for you. But the biggest problem is that this makes you tired, we have to think and how to be polite but not too wasteful in our daily routine.
3. People whose backgrounds are not compatible are hard to talk to
For those who do not have strong points, it is useless to contact them, but for excellent people, there are countless people who want to contact and even volunteer for them. Dude, even if you give celebrities your phone number, do you think you can actually become friends with them?
If you don’t have a strong point, you will never be equal to the strong in every way and can’t squeeze into a high-quality circle of friends. Even if you do get in, you’re still an outsider.
The communication methods you have exchanged at work are not helpful at all. In the long run, you delete people or they delete you.
Many people in the workplace, whether they are new or former employees or even many bosses think they took a picture with a celebrity, shook hands with an industry celebrity and so they have an extra one. contact method so that when needed they can call famous people for help.
In fact, in their eyes, you are an invisible person. Not that they are snobs, but they are just like ordinary people, can only see and talk to people of the same level as themselves or those of a higher status than them to climb higher.
It is difficult for ordinary people to make friends with Jack Ma and Zhao Wei but the two of them can become good friends because they are on the same level. You don’t have enough power equal to others, you can only be yourself.
4. Which layer of wind will meet that layer of cloud: what type of person you are, you will attract that type of person
When you are not strong enough and good enough, don’t spend too much of your precious time “in love” with anyone, take some time to cultivate and strengthen yourself.
There is a saying: “Every layer of wind will meet that layer of clouds.” When you cultivate well enough, naturally countless excellent people come to you.
First of all, boost your energy. Wide communication is not about how many people know you, but how many people you can call when needed. Improving your strength and making yourself stronger will attract good people willing to help you. Constantly striving to put yourself on par with the strong.
Instead of finding and connecting with people, you have to become an important link that others want to connect with. In this super fast age, people often take shortcuts and they often overlook the fact that “there is real success through hard work and hard work.” They believe that “making friends with people” is the key to success.
But remember that to be successful you need to have enough strength and height, and the network is just an auxiliary.
One of the bad things about successful learning now is that it always tells you the importance of traveling and communicating with others and likes to emphasize emotional intelligence. In fact, it is difficult for anyone to accurately summarize the level of emotional intelligence.
Anyone who can reach the management level won’t be so stupid. Therefore, we must keep in mind that we should focus on improving our strengths for skills, abilities and professionalism instead of spending too much time on personal relationships and expanding our knowledge. called the broad relationship.
5. Workers also need to understand what should be kept and should be let go, please give up social and useless relationships
The biggest misunderstanding many people have about their connections is the concept of “heroic quantification”.
In fact, whether your relationship lasts or not is reflected in your “use value”: The greater your use value, the more others will help you. Instead of spending time getting to know and befriending many people to ask for help, it is better to spend time improving your own personal worth.
Many people are very enlightened, wherever there is any activity there are them, everyone calls out, everyone does whatever they ask. They are called time-wasters or “friendly saints”. This type of person is often incompetent, prefers to be henchmen to rely on stronger people and is very difficult to succeed.
In short, why can some people be executives at a young age? It’s because they really want to get ahead, they really work hard and diligently while others think of shortcuts, relying on useless and meaningless relationships.
In your relationships, it is inevitable that others will look down on you, but there are also many who see you as an important knot. In addition to family, close friends, lovers, benefactors, etc., there are many relationships that do not require you to maintain.
Because one’s energy and time is very limited, must know how to manage energy and focus on meaningful things, spend time and effort in a place who appreciates your worth. and willing to help you.